Q: I reached out to my twin flame for support last week. He agreed to help but made me wait an entire week, which put me in a difficult situation. I tried to stay calm and give myself love, but it was tough—I felt overwhelmed with some family trauma,, and him testing me. How can I cope in moments like this without feeling so drained?

A: This is a wonderful question. So many on this journey face similar experiences, and by sharing yours, you’re helping others as well. Thank you for your openness.

Situations like these are deeply personal, as everyone’s journey unfolds uniquely. When a client shares this type of experience with me, we’d work together in a session to uncover where they’re at on the journey and why certain events affect them so profoundly. You’re already doing so well by staying calm, and it’s beautiful to see your commitment to self-love.

When we uncover where you are in your journey, it helps you understand why certain triggers feel so intense or recurring. Each stage of the twin flame journey often brings unique emotional themes, lessons, or blocks, and knowing which stage you’re in can guide you to the specific healing focus you need right now.

For example, if someone is in a phase where they’re being invited to learn self-empowerment, they might find themselves tested by situations where they feel overlooked or unsupported. Recognizing this theme helps them respond with more compassion and insight toward themselves, rather than seeing these moments as setbacks or signs of failure. It also allows us to personalize the tools and practices they can use to support their healing right where they are.

So, in a session, uncovering this stage gives us a “roadmap.” It lets us see the deeper purpose behind experiences, like feeling “tested” by your twin flame, and helps you find meaning in the journey rather than just frustration.

And please keep in mind — self-love includes allowing all your emotions, even the uncomfortable ones like frustration or anger. These emotions are not "less spiritual"; rather, they reveal the areas where your self-love and boundaries may need extra attention.

We would work together to understand what happens inside you when you feel like you’re “trying” to give love to yourself. Is there resistance, or a belief that you should hold it all together? 

It is important to uncover what true self-love means for you—beyond simply staying calm. It is safe to go deeper than that. This is where you will find the core of your upsets or the core of your twin flame mirroring you. We often don't understand what the mirroring is, and stay confused because we take it literally. But their mirroring is symbolic.

True self-love allows for all aspects of your experience. Explore ways to release pressure and feel your emotions without feeling "tested" by the situation. Try to give yourself permission to fully and honestly feel your feelings. Feeling our feelings isn't scary, it is not a vast abyss of emotions and turmoil waiting for us, and if we feel it, we won't be able to get out. Feeling our feelings isn't like imagining being in hell. It is observing our emotions and feelings from a distance and allowing them to be. 

Imagine a child in front of you crying because they lost their favourite toy. What would you do in this situation? Would you reason with them and telling to stay calm? Would you buy another toy to replace the old? Both ways would tell that you felt challenged coping with the child's emotions. It would show you have been triggered by their emotions and your current coping mechanism kicks in with a solution.

But what is the right solution with the crying child?

You allow the child to cry out all their tears, you would create and hold the space for the child to be able to feel their upset utterly till there are no more tears to be cried. It is usually done in about 5 to 10 minutes. But if we don't allow the child to feel their emotions, the feelings get stuck and they will feel sad whenever being reminded of that lost toy.

It is like in our yin yoga classes: we observe our feelings in a pose, we feel into our muscles and joints. Sometimes there are old emotions stuck in there. By holding the pose and allowing all the feelings and emotions to come to the surfuce, we allow them to exist. We accept them, we give space for them to be felt. And after that, we feel relief. Then, the emotions are gone.

In the same way, allow yourself to feel the full depth of your feelings around this experience with your twin flame. Trying too hard to stay calm can actually suppress those feelings. Trust that letting these emotions exist won’t make you act out or feel chaotic; it simply brings relief.

Remember, self-love isn’t only about creating happy feelings; sometimes it’s about giving ourselves the room to feel what’s real.

If you’re open to it, I’d be honored to guide you in creating that space, helping you find clarity and peace on your journey with tools that honor all aspects of your experience.